Invasion

First roaches, now ants. We've discovered thousands of them, infesting our house and our neighbors' houses. They're trying to take over our neighborhood. Then the world.

Ever since we moved in, we've had to spray for ants pretty regularly. They've taken up residence in Callie's food, her toy basket, Jay's bathroom, our back patio, and the kitchen. We'd gotten the interior of the house under control for the most part thanks to Home Defense (thank you, makers of Home Defense!). But then it rained. A lot.

Apparently, ants like to seek higher ground when their colonies are flooded. And oh, did they. I went out to get the mail yesterday, and when I opened the mailbox door, I saw hundreds of fire ants swarming the interior. We opened our neighbor's mailbox (directly adjacent to ours), and the sight was even more horrifying -- hundreds of ants plus dozens of ant larvae crawling all over each other. We had to use barbecue tongs to get our mail out, then empty a can of Raid in the box. Not fun.

After the mail fiasco, we decided to conduct a little inspection of our house's exterior. Now, I don't know if it's just because of the rain-induced mass relocation, but we discovered thousands of ants nesting in between our bricks where the mortar is cracked or missing. Jay would spray the cracks, and ants would come pouring out. Our neighbor's house is even worse -- ants forming continuous lines along the entire side of the house. We eradicated most of our ants yesterday, but I'm sure more will come. We're probably going to have to go in with our neighbors to get an exterminator for several houses on our block. The ant problem is pretty ridiculous at this point (and apparently has been going on for quite some time, according to the neighbors).

I bet Portland doesn't have ant invasions.

[Side note: Look at this picture and tell me it's not one of the freakiest things you've ever seen.]

Parade of evil

I have a problem. Specifically, a cockroach problem.

Specifically, roaches appearing in my bathtub just about every other day. You know what's a barrel of laughs? Pulling aside your shower curtain to see this beauty:



It's gotten so bad that I brace myself every time I have to take a shower, knowing I'll probably find a three-inch chunk of pure evil lurking there (note: measurement not inclusive of antennae length). If I didn't hate being dirty, I'd go on a shower strike.

The worst part? I don't know if they're coming from above or below. See, there's a light fixture above my tub. It has eerie, dark recesses, a perfect hiding place for stealthy critters. If they're coming from above, a roach could drop onto my head while I'm in the shower. I may never recover from something so unspeakably horrible. But they could also be coming from the drain. Then a roach might crawl up my leg while I'm showering. I'm not sure which option would be worse.


I think it's the drain, though. Any tips on eradicating vermin from your pipes? Anyone? Bueller?

Men in Trees

Callie loves to bark at everything that moves. Children exiting school buses, construction workers, men, women, dogs, cats, squirrels...nothing escapes her notice. I've tried to break her of this bad habit to no avail, and have finally just learned to accept it. Since we've been in the house, she's gotten even worse (more windows! more street traffic!), and it's a bit exasperating. Until yesterday.

I was talking on the phone with my dad and decided to run out and grab the mail. As usual, Callie darted out as soon as the door opened. Normally, this is fine - she stays in the yard and comes back in once I call her. But this time, a man was passing by on the sidewalk, and Callie, startled, immediately ran toward him, barking hysterically. Now, I can understand feeling a bit panicked if a strange dog is hurtling toward you with apparent menace (even if that dog weighs all of 25 pounds). I tried to reassure the man that Callie doesn't bite, that she just sounds mean, she's really a very sweet dog...but it was too late. The man had already panicked. And jumped into our tree.

Jumped INTO OUR TREE. Not only that, but was trying to claw his way up. While shaking a stick at my dog. I don't know how I held it together long enough to get Callie into the house, but as soon as I did, I laughed until I cried. Here's a crude representation of the event (ignore the pathetic attempt at drawing in Word):


Oh, I will cherish these memories forever.

Busy busy

We survived the hell of moving! (Just barely.) After a week, I'm finally feeling settled in the new house, and we're keeping busy fixing its little quirks and design eccentricities, not to mention unpacking the seemingly neverending stacks of boxes. I'm not going to move again for a looooong time, that's for damn sure. Where's a magic wand or some fairy godmothers when you need 'em?

On Wednesday, my mom and I leave for Louisiana, and I think some good company and delicious Cajun food will be exactly what I need after these last few difficult weeks. As for today? A Guinness and an Irish coffee will be the perfect reward for making it through a Monday. That, and a new episode of How I Met Your Mother. Oh, yes.

For dinner tonight: spiced green lentil soup with coconut milk; colcannon in honor of St. Patrick's Day; maybe some Ethiopian-spiced split peas using the berbere that I made this weekend. It's the typical Monday night mash-up at NJ's!

HOUSE!! (and some funnies, too)

The shitstorm of last week has finally passed - hallelujah! I'm thrilled to bits at the moment, actually. The weather is gorgeous, I've moved a ton of stuff into the new HOUSE!!, Jay and I cooked our first meal there last night, the animals seem to be comfortable, and I'm completely smitten with this whole thing. I even love my sore calves, which, frankly, needed the workout. Oh, and I'm going to buy an elliptical machine for our workout room, which we've already outfitted with a few free weights and a yoga mat. I love life right now.

Here are two videos that got me through a rough day last week. Laughter really does help you put things into perspective, you know?

Week from hell

Well, this has been...a week. And from what I can tell, it's not just me experiencing the suckage. Work is crazy, people are acting stupider than they normally do, traffic is horrendous, and the fucking wind won't let up no matter how much I plead with Mother Nature. And don't even get me started on my dog, whose pea soup-colored decoration of my kitchen and bathroom floors led to a three-hour odyssey that made me laugh AND cry. Yeah, it's been a week. I had a meltdown about BATTERIES at work yesterday. That's how bad it's been.

Luckily, there's a blinding, beautiful light at the end of the tunnel, and that's the HOUSE! We pick up our keys tomorrow. New furniture is getting delivered tomorrow, too, and oh, I could not be more excited (unless I got there to find a Led Zeppelin concert in my new living room). I can't wait to cook in my enormous new kitchen (with its awesome gas range), chill out in the backyard, pull into the garage, hang out on the new couch, and bask in all that glorious space. It's going to be spectacular.

Next up: planning a housewarming party! Ooh, that's going to consume my thoughts for the next month or so. Better finish packing and moving before I start drawing up those plans!

HOUSE!!!

Two weeks from today cannot get here fast enough:



Between this and Bonnaroo tickets on sale tomorrow, I'm a happy (if broke) camper. Literally, in the case of Bonnaroo.

More updates to come!